I can hear it now. "You are so selfish".
We sometimes are so used to doing and doing for other people, that even we feel like we are being selfish if we take time for ourselves. Not so. We have to take care of ourselves, not just by eating, drinking and sleeping. There is necessary time we have to spend to replenish our inner being. We want people to love us but how can we give to others what we don't have. Loving and caring for ourselves is not being selfish. It is appreciating and caring for the blessed life that we have. And that means taking time out to fill ourselves with good things so we have good to give to others.
My husband died when I was 55 years old. Infrequently, I had done hobbies and done little things for myself over the years. However, when he died, I went to the well, so to speak, and there was nothing for me because I had not replenished with the big things that would enable me to give love, hospitality and sharing to others the way I would have liked to do. I found myself very much in need of stress relief in realizing this.
Like most wives and mothers, I had given, given, and given because we basically are raised with "If you do for you, you are being selfish". It was a real hard lesson for me to learn that taking care of me FIRST was not being selfish if I was not hurting others and it put me in a position of being able to give more of me to others than I would have been able to do ordinarily. Even the Bible says to "love your neighbor AS yourself". If we love ourselves, we will take care of ourselves in all areas: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. So it starts with us and then goes to other people.
If you have ever flown with a baby, you probably remember the flight attendant giving instructions about the oxygen mask. If that mask drops down, you do NOT put it on the baby first. You are told to put the mask on you first then the mask on the baby. Why? Because if you pass out then you and the baby both could die because you didn't make sure that you stayed conscious so you could take care of the child.
We can't give love to others the way we would like to if we don't love ourselves. If we are stressed out, we can't be completely at peace with others. If we are miserable, how can we encourage others? We can't spread happiness if we are not happy. Basically, if we are not experiencing what we would like to share with others, it isn't going to work because we haven't taken care of or developed that for us first.
We live in a world referred to as "the Rat Race". Each day we deal with effects of stress from pollution, job pressure, traffic, family problems and, maybe, even crime that crop up from time to time. Then, there is the world scene that is only trouble, war, and more stress.
So how can we reduce stress in our lives? We take time for us each day. If 30-60 minutes is all that one can do, do that. Go to an art museum. Read a book that has intrigued you. Read the Bible if you are working on your spirituality. If you're so inclined, take a bubble bath with candles all around and luxuriate. See a movie or go to the library. Whatever you do, do it by yourself, without your phone, blackberry or anything else to disturb the time you set aside for you.
Especially if you are a mom or a professional working 60 or more hours a week, take the time to go to the park, ride a bicycle for 30 minutes, just do something for you by yourself without interruption. Do this every day even if it is only 15 minutes. It can give you a new lease on life.
Earlier I mentioned going to a museum for a reason. When we exercise, we exercise both sides of our body, not just one side. However, when it comes to our brain, the computer that runs everything, we have a tendency to develop mostly just one side. If you are right handed, this would be the left side of your brain that gets the most workout. If left handed you are considered right brained.
Since most people are right handed or left brained, that is the side that gets the most attention. But when we do that, we get lopsided because the right or creative side of our brain is not exercised as it should be so that our brains will be balanced just like our bodies.
So how can we exercise the right side of our brain? There are many ways that we can do that. These are just a few that you can consider:
1. Take an art class and learn to draw or paint
2. Learn to play an instrument
3. Take a writing course
4. Lean to quilt or do needlework
5. Indulge in singing lessons
Should you do all of the above? Only if you want to. Any type of creative endeavor on a regular basis will fit the bill. Do you have a little voice in the back of your head saying "I've always wanted to try painting (or singing or whatever suits your fancy)"? Give it a try. You may find your new calling or at the very least you will have the fun of doing something you always wanted to do. And you may even find that any of these can be stress busters that minimize the effects of stress in your life.
When you do this, your brain becomes more balanced because you are exercising both sides of your brain not just one. If we become more balanced in this area, this is going to eliminate some of the stress in our lives just as when we become more balanced emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Because we lead such busy lives, there are things that we just don't do for ourselves. It is important that we make time for some of these things. When we continually deny ourselves, our inner being, our inner child suffers. We do need to introduce enough of what we want and need in our lives to be happy and less stressed.
Even if it is only 15-30 minutes that you do something special for you each day, you will find more contentment and peace. And you will probably find that you need less stress management in your life as well.
Next time, we will consider the importance of providing a tranquil environment and how that can minimize the effects of stress in your life.
Have a great week.
Disclaimer: This article is issued with the understanding that while every effort has been made to ensure that the information contained within is accurate, the author will not accept any responsibility for any loss or otherwise, as a consequence of using any of the information that has been presented. The opinions are those of the author who has researched the information and lives by these principles and techniques as well. Users are urged to seek medical advice before embarking upon or changing a course of medication or fitness program or before making extreme changes in their life style.
| Karen C Groves is a 67 year young widow, mother and daughter of parents in their 90's. For over 15 years she was involved in the health field. Six of those years were working with products specifically designed for cancer patients and diabetics. Her interests are writing, reading, self improvement, playing games, becoming very business savvy, building web sites and spiritual growth. For more information on Stress Busters for Your Stress Management Program, go to http://BustingStress.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_C_Groves |  |
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